THE BIOLOGY OF SEX: TOUCHING BEHAVIOUR

Each of us has a body contact quotient for the amount and type of touching we require. Touching and cuddling provide security, protection, comfort, love and contentment. Research has also found that people with high body contact requirements are comfortable with their sexuality. They like to eat and talk and express their feelings easily – including their sexual feelings. Psychiatrist Dr Marc Hollender in his questionnaire and paper The Wish to be Held’ mentioned in the book Nonverbal Communication, suggests there are a small number of women with extremely high body contact scores resembling ‘an addiction’.

These women tend to be very insecure and are often involved in affair after contact needs met. As one woman explained ‘I require hugs, and in exchange give sex, however, I want to stress often all I really am seeking is for a man to touch me.’

It has been suggested by many women we interviewed, that it is very common from time to time for them to have sex because of the before, during and after body touching involved. Women require intimacy, with physical and emotional intensity, and being held is a sure way to achieve it.

Most men also enjoy touching and being touched. The major difference between men and women here is the smaller number of ‘cuddling addicts’ as Hollender referred to them in the test sample of men compared to women. ‘Men can acknowledge their longing to be held, but its intensity either does not reach the height attained by some women or, if it does, it is not reported.’

Touching and affectionate body contact is necessities for humans. Without touch we shrivel. Body contact needs express the ‘like factor’ we feel towards others. Reach out and touch. You will break down barriers, build rapport, feel good, and if done appropriately and gently, your friend will enjoy the experience.

Begin with the areas around the elbow and the wrist. Never begin with areas too close to the breasts or genitals.

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