Archive for March, 2009

THE BIOLOGY OF SEX: TOUCHING BEHAVIOUR

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Each of us has a body contact quotient for the amount and type of touching we require. Touching and cuddling provide security, protection, comfort, love and contentment. Research has also found that people with high body contact requirements are comfortable with their sexuality. They like to eat and talk and express their feelings easily – including their sexual feelings. Psychiatrist Dr Marc Hollender in his questionnaire and paper The Wish to be Held’ mentioned in the book Nonverbal Communication, suggests there are a small number of women with extremely high body contact scores resembling ‘an addiction’.

These women tend to be very insecure and are often involved in affair after contact needs met. As one woman     explained ‘I require hugs, and in exchange give sex, however, I want to stress often all I really am seeking is for a man to touch me.’

It has been suggested by many women we interviewed, that it is very common from time to time for them to have sex because of the before, during and after body touching involved. Women require intimacy, with physical and emotional intensity, and being held is a sure way to achieve it.

Most men also enjoy touching and being touched. The major difference between men and women here is the smaller number of ‘cuddling addicts’ as Hollender referred to them in the test sample of men compared to women. ‘Men can acknowledge their longing to be held, but its intensity either does not reach the height attained by some women or, if it does, it is not reported.’

Touching and affectionate body contact is necessities for humans. Without touch we shrivel. Body contact needs express the ‘like factor’ we feel towards others. Reach out and touch. You will break down barriers, build rapport, feel good, and if done appropriately and gently, your friend will enjoy the experience.

Begin with the areas around the elbow and the wrist. Never begin with areas too close to the breasts or genitals.

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BEDROOM BEHAVIOURS: PERSONALITY OF DRAMATIC

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

What is the personality of a Dramatic? Bold, outspoken, self-assured, decisive and sometimes aloof. Anyone who is prepared to decorate a bedroom boldly with colours, designs and styles others shy away from, has to be confident. The bedroom suits them. The Dramatic man or woman has a distinct and dramatic appearance. They are usually taller than average with long arms and legs. A Dramatics body and face is somewhat angular. There are very few curves on the body. That’s why they are attracted to angles in design too. Their hair will be the latest fashion or even extreme and severe in cut. It will always be controlled. No curves here, angles appeal. These hair styles look appropriate on Dramatic men and women. Their clothing styles are the latest, the boldest and often European styling.

Nothing ordinary. Nothing small and simple. It just doesn’t work. Forget lots of detail. Clean sweeping lines are in. And shine. Not just lustre. Shine and gloss.

Examples of Dramatic personality types include Cher, Jim Carrey, Naomi Campbell and David Bowie.

Which brings us to the bedroom behaviour of Dramatics. What would you expect? When the bedroom is set up for drama, expect it. It isn’t soap opera stuff based on emotions. This is loud, clear, decisive, perhaps unusual sexual and sensual behaviour. ‘You want what?’ you say. Nothing too ordinary. The Dramatic woman loves to wear black or red lacy lingerie and suspender belts with black stockings.

Foreplay? Yes. ‘But let’s not pussyfoot around. Let’s get on with the sex. Let’s try different positions. Let’s spice up this relationship. Let me show you how.’ Yet underpinning all this is a sense of formality and authority. The Dramatic is confident in bed and out of it. They know it, do it, enjoy it, and move on to the next fascinating episode.

Key words: contrasting elements, strong colours such as black, red and gold, extreme, bold, confident and dominant, flamboyant and sophisticated.

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BEDROOM INTIMATE DESIGN: ROMANTIC STYLE

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

The Romantic style is based on sensuality and curves, frills and lace. It is a soft and cosy, perhaps even cluttered look where everything is in sensual harmony. Feminine and inviting is how most men see it. This bedroom can seem over the top to some, while to others it is heavenly. More than any other style it is blatantly soft and sensual, which can be interpreted as a sexual invitation. Wait to be invited in!

While they may appear to be soft and vulnerable, Romantics do not like to be taken advantage of and are really quite in charge of their intimate life.

The Romantic look is a somewhat sophisticated and glamorous look where smoothness and sensuality, rather than FURNISHINGS texture, predominate on the surface finish of fabrics and furnishings. Fabrics are sheer, or net, or decorated with a floral design, or maybe even in a luxury fabric such as velvet. Sometimes a mosquito net floats above the bed. Curtains, usually gathered, drape softly, sometimes into a pool on the floor. The curtains are voluptuous and full, never skimpy. Sheets and bed linen are soft and luxurious, sometimes in satin. Doonas are used more than formal bedspreads since they create a softer, more cosy and inviting look. Whatever the bedcover, it is sensual and inviting, sometimes in lace such as broderie anglaise, sometimes in a floral design and nearly always has a frill around the doona cover. When a valance is used, it is gathered quite generously.

Frills and lace always feature somewhere in the Romantic bedroom, even if it is just on the doona or on the pillows or cushions on the bed. And there are extra pillows and cushions.

These are not only for comfort but also as a display of generosity. Romantics are generous in all aspects of their lives. They are not restrained when it comes to true love and romance.

Curves, rather than angles, predominate in the Romantic bedroom. Furniture has curved and rounded lines. The bed may be a four-poster, decorated with soft netting, lace or frills, or an ornate brass bed with curves on it, or simply one with a curved bedhead. Other furniture has curved lines or may be softly draped with a fabric cloth or a detailed table runner. Sometimes sets of drawers, the bedhead or bedside tables have intricate carvings on them. Curved decorative touches in the form of painted finishes such as floral stencils on walls and furniture, perhaps cherubs somewhere or decoupaged items are sometimes evident. The overall look is quite busy and cluttered, both in quantity and design.

Colours are either delicate, soft or understated, in white, pinks, apricot or peach, or in a mixture of pastels or in the deeper more opulent colours of burgundy or maroon. Romantics love to create a soft, cosy and cuddly retreat filled with their sentimental collectibles and they love fresh flowers in the room. There is a little of the Romantic in everybody so touches of it may appear in the other styles as well.

While the Romantic bedroom seems very feminine, there is also a male Romantic look which has some of the elements of this style. Romantic men are often the charming Romeos we meet.

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BEDROOM BEHAVIOURS: THE PERSONALITY OF A FANTASY SEEKER

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

The female Fantasy bedroom usually involves the first type of fantasy bedroom. It has sheer white and very pastel fabrics, creating a filmy misty atmosphere in which to retreat from the , ugliness of the real world.

The male Fantasy bedroom comes from the future or science fiction. It has chrome, silver, grey or white in it and decorative items may be suggestive of outer space and the future. The Star Wars theme is popular mainly with teenage boys, although some young adult males do seem to be fans.

The personality of a Fantasy seeker is a certainly creative one who is obsessively preoccupied with unrealistic goals. There is no one body style. This style has developed because the person has become obsessed with fantasy or is escaping from the ugliness or disappointments of reality. We cannot give a living example of the Fantasy personality since it is often a private world they enter in their bedroom.

In bed you will be impressed with the role-playing and unusual demands. Join in for a ride to another world. In time you may well be annoyed with the tunnel vision of this dreamer unless you also share the fantasy.

Key words: creative, individual, ‘out of this world’, an escape from reality, obsessive.

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HOW TO SEDUCE THE PERSON OF FANTASY STYLE

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

This personality is the dreamer and the idealist. They are the escapists of this world. Their fantasy is based on either the past or the future. It may embrace the ethereal world of fairies, the celebrity world of Hollywood or the celestial realms of the cosmos. If you are in a relationship with a Fantasy style, talk to them about their fantasy, find out what it is that appeals to them. Whatever you do, don’t ridicule them if you don’t understand them. Allow them their dreams. They are often quite creative people who just prefer not to relate to the mundane world.

The road to seduction for this personality is built on the imagination. Paint exotic mind pictures related to their type of fantasy style. Include their fantasy style in the seduction. They love to experiment during sex, to soar to great heights, although sometimes those heights are unrealistic. They like to remove themselves from day-to-day life. Go along for the ride.

Go to a restaurant that has elements like their fantasy if you can find one. If her bedroom is based on fairies, choose a soft romantic restaurant, with reminiscences of the past. If it has a Star Wars theme, choose a restaurant that has shiny surfaces, with red, grey, black or chrome and stainless steel. If it is heavenly, with lots of moons and stars, choose a restaurant with large windows through which you can see the stars in the night sky. A fantasy based on Hollywood movie icons gives you the option of going to any restaurant whose walls are lined with memorabilia of old movie themes and stars.

Sex for the female Fantasy style can be a gentle sensual experience, or an exotic adventure. They need a partner who is sensitive, caring, playful, trustworthy and free of limitations. The sense of universal connection with everything in their life is often what motivates them.

The male Fantasy personality is usually interested in the future. Of course, Elvis Presley, the rocking rolling 1950s or the Art Deco era may have some followers as well. Sex for these men is always an adventure. Be innovative, straight-forward and introduce elements of their fantasy into the seduction.

Good news: the fantasy adds interesting spice.

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WE CAN CONTROL OUR FEELINGS BY CONTROLLING OUR THOUGHTS

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Psychologists have discovered that we can feel any way we want to feel at any time by simply thinking an appropriate thought Should a negative thought intrude on our inner movie screen, we can easily slide it off and replace it with a positive image, such as a beautiful beach or garden scene, before the negative thought can trigger a health-wrecking emotion.

Learning to control our thoughts isn’t nearly as difficult as most of us believe. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania and other university medical schools have completely reversed tern of thousands of cases of severe depression by teaching patients to think positively. Called Cognitive Therapy, it is based on the discovery that mat cases of depression are caused not by some complex biological process deep within the body or subconscious mind, but by ten easily recognizable ways in which we distort our thinking by using a negative approach.

It has also been learned that the type of thoughts we get are determined by our beliefs. When we view the world through a filter of negative beliefs we get negative thoughts and feelings. And vice versa. By restructuring oar belief system and replacing negative beliefs based on the conditioned past with new, positive beliefs that are mote appropriate to the present we can guarantee ourselves only positive thoughts and feelings.

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DOSAGE OF VITAMIN C

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Megadoses of vitamin C undoubtedly have some potential for causing discomfort. Diarrhea is the most common complication. It has been suggested that diarrhea can be avoided by changing to a different variety of vitamin C.

Large doses of Vitamin C have also been observed to inhibit the speed and motility of intestinal muscle movement, causing stomach gas. This discomfort can usually be reduced by cutting down on meat, poultry, fried foods and beans. Gutting down on these same foods may also reduce incidence of heartburn associated with vitamin C. Some observers have reported that, in any case, vitamin C-associated heartburn will disappear spontaneously by the third day. It may also be reduced by taking an alkalizer.

According to Linus Pauling, ascorbic acid will notaffect ulcers nor cause kidney stones. If you are prone to kidney stone formation, however, you could reduce the risk by using sodium ascorbate or by taking ascorbic acid with an alkalizer.

The vitamin C suggested doses should be restricted to full-grown adults of normal body size. For use in children under 100 pounds body weight, dosages should be reduced in proportion to body weight. However, holistic vitamin C therapy is not recommended for children owing to the difficulty of getting them to take the regular dosages.

A final caveat: if you experience adverse side effects due to taking vitamin C for a cold or flu, we strongly recommend that you cease taking further dosages. However, in the relatively small amounts suggested here, it is extremely unlikely that you will experience any discomfort. We also recommend that if you are taking prescription medication or are undergoing medical treatment or supervision of any type of dysfunction, that you consult your physician before using vitamin therapy of any kind, including vitamin A and zinc gluconate tablets.

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OVERCOMING A COLD OR FLU BY BOLSTERING YOUR IMMUNOCOMPETENCE

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

If you have read this chapter so far, you will probably have concluded that the best way to shorten the duration of a cold or influenza, and to reduce the severity of its symptoms, is by enhancing one’s immunocompetence.

This conclusion is perfectly correct. In case of a bacterial infection, a physician’s antibiotics can replace a weak immune system. But so Ear, medical science can do nothing for a viral infection other than to soothe the discomfort of the symptoms. The fact is that at this stage in scientific progress, we ourselves can do more to boost our immunocompetence than can any doctor or his drugs.

In recent years, a flood of new information has emerged from the leading edge of scientific research that links the immune system and our emotions to physical health. For instance, the new science of psychoneuroimmunology is actively exploring the relationships among the mind, body and immune system. Although no large-scale study has definitely established a mind-immunity link, the results of fifty or more small-scale studies all point, without a single exception, in the same direction. What they are essentially saying is that we can consciously choose to have a strong and powerful immune system by believing, thinking and behaving positively.

Confirming this conclusion are several carefully-controlled studies which have clearly demonstrated that depression and similar negative emotional states suppress the immune system. One study, for example, showed that moderately stressed or depressed women have 40 percent fewer virus-fighting killer T cells and 20 percent fewer helper T cells than normal.

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TEN WAYS TO FIGHT COLD AND START FEELING BETTER

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Suppose you have just come down with a cold. Your nose is stuffed-up and runny. You have a bad case of sniffles and you’re sneezing all over. There’s an ominous, scratchy feeling in the back of your throat, your nose feels tight, and the skin around your nostrils is already raw and burned. Your eyes are watery and you feel like blowing your stack instead of your nose.

Now that a cold virus has hit you with its double whammy, what can you do right away to start feeling better and to begin the recovery?

So here are ten steps you can take that will launch you off on the right track immediately. You may not want to try them all. But taken together, they do offer a Whole Person approach to getting well again. To treat a cold intelligently, you must know everything about the cold process and the safe and correct way in which to apply each form of cold therapy.

Otherwise, your “cold” might actually go unrecognized as influenza or another type of upper respiratory tract infection. It’s vital to be able to recognize exactly which dysfunction you may be suffering from and to know when to seek medical help if needed.

So here they are: ten easy ways you can take to start fighting your cold and to start feeling better.

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ANTI-HEADACHE TECHNIQUE #17: LIBERATE YOURSELF FROM HEADACHES WITH COGNITIVE POSITIVISM

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Every negative feeling is preceded by a negative thought that arises from holding one or more negative beliefs. Likewise, every positive feeling is preceded by a positive thought that arises from holding one or more positive beliefs.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if we drop our negative beliefs and replace them with positive beliefs, we are not only going to have a shot at feeling good all the time, but also that we can become virtually free of headaches and minimize our risk of getting almost any other disease or dysfunction. By changing our beliefs, we change the way we perceive potentially stressful life events.

For example, Smith and Jones are both laid off from their production-line jobs in an outdated plant. Smith fears that he will be unable to find another job. The thought of losing his home, furniture and car, and of being unable to support his family, makes him increasingly anxious and depressed. As Smith continues to perceive the situation in a fearful way, his anxiety increases and he begins to experience frequent tension headaches.

Jones, by contrast, perceives his job loss as a fortunate release from a boring occupation and as a wonderful opportunity to train for a new career in computers. Rather than getting headaches, Jones feels totally confident and capable, an upbeat mindset boosted by secretion of endorphins resulting from his positive feelings.

Although fictional, this illustration is repeated in real life millions of times each day. Both Smith and Jones perceived the same potentially stressful life event. But while Smith perceived unemployment in a negative way that created stress and headaches, Jones perceived his job loss as an opportunity for advancement—a positive viewpoint that left him completely free of both stress and headaches.

When we program the biocomputer that we call the brain with negative beliefs, we get out negative feelings and headaches. When we program it with positive beliefs, we get out positive feelings and freedom from headaches.

If that sounds oversimplified, it’s because we are dealing only with cause and effect. The actual bodymind mechanisms involved in the computer analogy are extremely complex. Yet in behavioral medicine, it isn’t essential to know how the mind or body works—results are what count. And the results we want are the results Jones got.

The big question is: How could Smith change his beliefs so that he too could perceive unemployment in the same stress-free way as Jones?

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