Each of us has a body contact quotient for the amount and type of touching we require. Touching and cuddling provide security, protection, comfort, love and contentment. Research has also found that people with high body contact requirements are comfortable with their sexuality. They like to eat and talk and express their feelings easily – including their sexual feelings. Psychiatrist Dr Marc Hollender in his questionnaire and paper The Wish to be Held’ mentioned in the book Nonverbal Communication, suggests there are a small number of women with extremely high body contact scores resembling ‘an addiction’.

These women tend to be very insecure and are often involved in affair after contact needs met. As one woman     explained ‘I require hugs, and in exchange give sex, however, I want to stress often all I really am seeking is for a man to touch me.’

It has been suggested by many women we interviewed, that it is very common from time to time for them to have sex because of the before, during and after body touching involved. Women require intimacy, with physical and emotional intensity, and being held is a sure way to achieve it.

Most men also enjoy touching and being touched. The major difference between men and women here is the smaller number of ‘cuddling addicts’ as Hollender referred to them in the test sample of men compared to women. ‘Men can acknowledge their longing to be held, but its intensity either does not reach the height attained by some women or, if it does, it is not reported.’

Touching and affectionate body contact is necessities for humans. Without touch we shrivel. Body contact needs express the ‘like factor’ we feel towards others. Reach out and touch. You will break down barriers, build rapport, feel good, and if done appropriately and gently, your friend will enjoy the experience.

Begin with the areas around the elbow and the wrist. Never begin with areas too close to the breasts or genitals.

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What is the personality of a Dramatic? Bold, outspoken, self-assured, decisive and sometimes aloof. Anyone who is prepared to decorate a bedroom boldly with colours, designs and styles others shy away from, has to be confident. The bedroom suits them. The Dramatic man or woman has a distinct and dramatic appearance. They are usually taller than average with long arms and legs. A Dramatics body and face is somewhat angular. There are very few curves on the body. That’s why they are attracted to angles in design too. Their hair will be the latest fashion or even extreme and severe in cut. It will always be controlled. No curves here, angles appeal. These hair styles look appropriate on Dramatic men and women. Their clothing styles are the latest, the boldest and often European styling.

Nothing ordinary. Nothing small and simple. It just doesn’t work. Forget lots of detail. Clean sweeping lines are in. And shine. Not just lustre. Shine and gloss.

Examples of Dramatic personality types include Cher, Jim Carrey, Naomi Campbell and David Bowie.

Which brings us to the bedroom behaviour of Dramatics. What would you expect? When the bedroom is set up for drama, expect it. It isn’t soap opera stuff based on emotions. This is loud, clear, decisive, perhaps unusual sexual and sensual behaviour. ‘You want what?’ you say. Nothing too ordinary. The Dramatic woman loves to wear black or red lacy lingerie and suspender belts with black stockings.

Foreplay? Yes. ‘But let’s not pussyfoot around. Let’s get on with the sex. Let’s try different positions. Let’s spice up this relationship. Let me show you how.’ Yet underpinning all this is a sense of formality and authority. The Dramatic is confident in bed and out of it. They know it, do it, enjoy it, and move on to the next fascinating episode.

Key words: contrasting elements, strong colours such as black, red and gold, extreme, bold, confident and dominant, flamboyant and sophisticated.

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The Romantic style is based on sensuality and curves, frills and lace. It is a soft and cosy, perhaps even cluttered look where everything is in sensual harmony. Feminine and inviting is how most men see it. This bedroom can seem over the top to some, while to others it is heavenly. More than any other style it is blatantly soft and sensual, which can be interpreted as a sexual invitation. Wait to be invited in!

While they may appear to be soft and vulnerable, Romantics do not like to be taken advantage of and are really quite in charge of their intimate life.

The Romantic look is a somewhat sophisticated and glamorous look where smoothness and sensuality, rather than FURNISHINGS texture, predominate on the surface finish of fabrics and furnishings. Fabrics are sheer, or net, or decorated with a floral design, or maybe even in a luxury fabric such as velvet. Sometimes a mosquito net floats above the bed. Curtains, usually gathered, drape softly, sometimes into a pool on the floor. The curtains are voluptuous and full, never skimpy. Sheets and bed linen are soft and luxurious, sometimes in satin. Doonas are used more than formal bedspreads since they create a softer, more cosy and inviting look. Whatever the bedcover, it is sensual and inviting, sometimes in lace such as broderie anglaise, sometimes in a floral design and nearly always has a frill around the doona cover. When a valance is used, it is gathered quite generously.

Frills and lace always feature somewhere in the Romantic bedroom, even if it is just on the doona or on the pillows or cushions on the bed. And there are extra pillows and cushions.

These are not only for comfort but also as a display of generosity. Romantics are generous in all aspects of their lives. They are not restrained when it comes to true love and romance.

Curves, rather than angles, predominate in the Romantic bedroom. Furniture has curved and rounded lines. The bed may be a four-poster, decorated with soft netting, lace or frills, or an ornate brass bed with curves on it, or simply one with a curved bedhead. Other furniture has curved lines or may be softly draped with a fabric cloth or a detailed table runner. Sometimes sets of drawers, the bedhead or bedside tables have intricate carvings on them. Curved decorative touches in the form of painted finishes such as floral stencils on walls and furniture, perhaps cherubs somewhere or decoupaged items are sometimes evident. The overall look is quite busy and cluttered, both in quantity and design.

Colours are either delicate, soft or understated, in white, pinks, apricot or peach, or in a mixture of pastels or in the deeper more opulent colours of burgundy or maroon. Romantics love to create a soft, cosy and cuddly retreat filled with their sentimental collectibles and they love fresh flowers in the room. There is a little of the Romantic in everybody so touches of it may appear in the other styles as well.

While the Romantic bedroom seems very feminine, there is also a male Romantic look which has some of the elements of this style. Romantic men are often the charming Romeos we meet.

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The female Fantasy bedroom usually involves the first type of fantasy bedroom. It has sheer white and very pastel fabrics, creating a filmy misty atmosphere in which to retreat from the , ugliness of the real world.

The male Fantasy bedroom comes from the future or science fiction. It has chrome, silver, grey or white in it and decorative items may be suggestive of outer space and the future. The Star Wars theme is popular mainly with teenage boys, although some young adult males do seem to be fans.

The personality of a Fantasy seeker is a certainly creative one who is obsessively preoccupied with unrealistic goals. There is no one body style. This style has developed because the person has become obsessed with fantasy or is escaping from the ugliness or disappointments of reality. We cannot give a living example of the Fantasy personality since it is often a private world they enter in their bedroom.

In bed you will be impressed with the role-playing and unusual demands. Join in for a ride to another world. In time you may well be annoyed with the tunnel vision of this dreamer unless you also share the fantasy.

Key words: creative, individual, ‘out of this world’, an escape from reality, obsessive.

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This personality is the dreamer and the idealist. They are the escapists of this world. Their fantasy is based on either the past or the future. It may embrace the ethereal world of fairies, the celebrity world of Hollywood or the celestial realms of the cosmos. If you are in a relationship with a Fantasy style, talk to them about their fantasy, find out what it is that appeals to them. Whatever you do, don’t ridicule them if you don’t understand them. Allow them their dreams. They are often quite creative people who just prefer not to relate to the mundane world.

The road to seduction for this personality is built on the imagination. Paint exotic mind pictures related to their type of fantasy style. Include their fantasy style in the seduction. They love to experiment during sex, to soar to great heights, although sometimes those heights are unrealistic. They like to remove themselves from day-to-day life. Go along for the ride.

Go to a restaurant that has elements like their fantasy if you can find one. If her bedroom is based on fairies, choose a soft romantic restaurant, with reminiscences of the past. If it has a Star Wars theme, choose a restaurant that has shiny surfaces, with red, grey, black or chrome and stainless steel. If it is heavenly, with lots of moons and stars, choose a restaurant with large windows through which you can see the stars in the night sky. A fantasy based on Hollywood movie icons gives you the option of going to any restaurant whose walls are lined with memorabilia of old movie themes and stars.

Sex for the female Fantasy style can be a gentle sensual experience, or an exotic adventure. They need a partner who is sensitive, caring, playful, trustworthy and free of limitations. The sense of universal connection with everything in their life is often what motivates them.

The male Fantasy personality is usually interested in the future. Of course, Elvis Presley, the rocking rolling 1950s or the Art Deco era may have some followers as well. Sex for these men is always an adventure. Be innovative, straight-forward and introduce elements of their fantasy into the seduction.

Good news: the fantasy adds interesting spice.

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